I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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