we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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