i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
