I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
