Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
