Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
