just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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