I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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