I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
