we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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