At least make sure they are 18
Why
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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