dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
