fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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