we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
