So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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