Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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