Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
