So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
