he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
