i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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