just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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