New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
