He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
