I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
