so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
