you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
