he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
