I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
