Who did Billy Mays play for?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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