I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
