Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Panties = found
Randomize
