**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
