Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
