last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
