Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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