dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
