singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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