I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
