She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
