therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
