I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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