So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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