Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
