that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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