dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
