she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
