38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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