In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
