Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
