How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize