He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
