So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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