I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
