do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
