The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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