that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
