i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
