Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
