I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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