The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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