why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
