Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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