I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
